Personal Time

I love mornings, every morning I love breathing in the fresh air walking alone quietly towards my office. Who doesnt? When you have to face all kinds of crap at work later on, one should really cherish their silent mornings with themselves.

But, sadly, my mornings are all ruined by someone I call The Morning Spoiler. I don't hate this morning spoiler of mine, but I really just wish morning spoiler could talk to me at some other time.

I already hate driving to work in the morning, now this morning spoiler just adds to the list of the things I hate in the morning. The moment I stop my car, I would have to look around for morning spoiler's car, just to get myself ready with a big smile. As if smiling is not tiring enough, I have to open my mouth to talk, which is already half of the energy I charged the night before. Sigh. Someone please help me !

I have tried so many ways to avoid this horrible phenomena, but am still failing pathetically !

I've tried :

1. Pretending to be busy on the phone/ smsing someone frantically - Can't work, I am a bad actress, I always have to pretend back like I did not manage to contact the person I was finding, and start a conversation with morning spoiler.

2. Grab my bag and jump off the car as soon as I turn off the engines and fly to the office - Can't work, morning spoiler will ask me to wait up !

3. Walk EXTREMELY slow so that morning spoiler will think I am too far away and decide to walk first - CANT WORK !!!! Morning spoiler will stand there and WAIT !

UGH ! What kind of loser is that? Find someone else's morning to destroy !

GIVE ME BACK MY MORNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will be missed

It feels weird sitting here writting this entry, knowing somehow you are not here anymore. Eventhough we don't live under the same roof, but the thought of not being able the visit you again brings tears to my eyes.

In a short 7 days, things have changed so much. Last week, your presence did not appear to be significant to me, but now your absence seems unbearable. I miss you so much.

Its hard continuing this entry without constantly walking towards the fan to dry my eyes.

I still remember the day I got the message about you being in the hospital. My heart sank when I saw how frail you were lying on the bed, I felt so helpless , not knowing how to make you feel better. Never have I felt I loved you so much, until that moment, and it was too late. When I left that very night, it never occured to me, you were leaving me forever.

I can't stop but remember the younger days when you were the boss of all of us, you would scold us when we were naughty, but in the end you will still buy us all ice-cream soda and junk food from the nearby sundry shop. Sometimes I feel like I can still hear your laughter and voice.

Fast forward to last year, when I was back for my internship, that was the time when I get to know you all over again, the older you, the weaker you. It was my turn to take care of you, my turn to care of you, but I did a bad job compared to what you have done.

We are constantly being occupied by insignificant things we hold so dear, and neglect the people dearest to us. Tomorrow is always the word we hang by our lips when it comes to our loved ones. And we never stop to plan for the future when we should pause and do what we should do for today.

I know you are watching over all of us up there with Him, but my mind still cannot register that. It feels like you are at home , going about your usual activities, waiting for my visit, waiting for the only request you have on me which I can never fulfil forever.

I am sorry kong

I miss you.

Investments

Despite the lack of funds in my accounts and the miserable non-existing YEB, I am still investing in one of girl's most prized assets - The Skin. (retail therapy is always good for a girl's soul)

"A person's physical appearance is the first thing seen by others in social situations. The skin is one of the most important components of an individual's physical appearance. In man, the face has evolved to become one of the most important visual tools in communication with thirty or more muscles to control facial expressions alone. The skin on the face, and secondly on the hands is therefore under almost constant scrutiny during normal day-to-day life.



In addition, beauty is a visual impression of form or colour. It is also a subjective appreciation of that quality, as not all objects defined as beautiful by one will be found as such by another. However, in any one particular society, there will generally be much agreement as to what or who is beautiful or attractive."



SEE, this is why we must all invest in good skin care. I am thankful of what I have now and I am not complaining here. But, I could see brown spots and freckles appearing, and soon, FINE LINES, before it turns to WRINKLES!

How come being a girl in the modern world is so complicated? You gotta work, take care of the family, take care of your weight, take care of your skin, take care of your husband, take care of your kids. When guys just take care of the pay cheque they get every month?

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I think I am getting crazier and crazier, with everything that is going on right now, I still can sign up for a journey I don't think I can finish.

Guess this could be a good encouragement for me to hit the gym more often, but also to eat more because I need the energy?

I FEEL...

ANGRY

IRRITATED

DISTURBED

MISTREATED

MISUNDERSTOOD

DEPRIVED

UNACCEPTED

UPSET

DISPIRITING

SICK

COMFORTLESS

NOT BELONG

HOPELESS

BITTER

DEJECTED

UNFORTUNATE

TROUBLED

MISERABLE

LOST

UNHAPPY

DOWN

HEARTBROKEN

BITTER

Love is in the air

I have a sudden feel to watch fantasy love stories ! Its time to do more girly girl stuff after all the macho machine battles at work. Hope this can replace my compulsive eating disorder.

Can't wait for the overdose of sweetness! *grin grin grin*




p/s : I know I am very out of date, this is because my housemates, no, ex-housemates did not share it with me, because I was too busy studying?!?! who is too busy for love ? :P

Life goes on

Today is one of those days you just feel very bad about yourself.

I woke up feeling powerless and heavy.

I draged myself to work feeling sleepy.

I worked feeling dissatisfied and unhappy.

I ate feeling nauseous and fat.

I drove home feeling tired.

I ate feeling guilty.

I ate again, feeling more guilty.

and I ate again, feeling sorry.